Guardian - 21 January 2018, 02:05 (+ 2308 days 10 hours and 37 minutes) In Depth/Analysis
#MeToo is a superb phenomenon but we all need training to overcome the instinct to defend loved onesFor months, the #MeToo hashtag has rolled like a tsunami over the careers of famous producers, directors, photographers and politicians. It has felt like every woman has a story to tell; I certainly have loads. It seems a change is coming and most decent people are joining in the chorus to say “time is up”. Bravo. But I’ve noticed that, as well as thinking how awful it all is and trotting out the obvious line that it’s not just Hollywood but is endemic in every walk of life, we seem completely incapable of realising what that means. It means that we know and love abusive men. I know I do.The phenomenon is not a new one to anyone who has worked with abused women and girls and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for being massive hypocrites. When working at Women’s Aid, I met countless women whose families had not believed them when they spoke of their abuse at the hands of another loved one. I remember one girl who had told her mother that her stepdad had been forcing her to have sex with him from a young age. It took a huge amount of work to get to the stage where she could tell her mother. She felt it could not be true and accused the girl of jealousy, of childish attention-seeking and histrionics. Their relationship broke down and this teenager left home, leaving her mother still living with the man who had raped her. Continue reading...